I am grateful and thankful

I realized that 90% of my life is in the virtual world. My job is in another country hundreds of miles away, so are my friends and my family. I live for email, sms and other forms of electronic communication. I feel happy when I see that my inbox is not empty and get depressed when I hit the refresh button and it stares me in the face “0 new messages”. I check my mobile phone a hundred times a day to make sure that I have not missed calls or messages. It is sad isn’t it? But then I think again, what if I were in a country all alone and had none of these forms of communication and realize I am grateful. I am thankful that I can call my family using Skype, that I can chat for hours with my mum on Google Talk and not worry about a phone bill, that I have a job that is flexible enough for me to be able to work in a different country and time zone. I miss my tribe, I miss everyone terribly, I miss the little things, the nonsense, the silly outings, the morning coffee break with my friends at work, the annoying inability to park anywhere near work and having to walk 10 minutes from my car to the office, I miss being able to drive, I miss my best friend of 10 years who also happened to work in the cubicle next to me, I miss my sister; who by complete chance used to work in a different company but in the same building. I miss my mother waking me up at dawn to pray and then to share a morning nescafe in bed to talk and gossip and laugh loudly until my sister woke up and got mad at us for being so loud. I miss the fact that I am pregnant and all the people that I wanted to share it with are so far away. I miss the fact that the grocery nearest to the house not only knew me by name but also knew my entire family too. I hate the fact that I know when the home phone rings it is never for me, I hate the fact that I can’t jump into my car and drive fast enough an leave any worries on the tarmac behind me. And then I think again, I am grateful and thankful for family and friends who even though I am so far away still care and love me, who find the time in their busy schedules to make sure I am ok, for the long distance phone calls that make my day most wonderful, for the tidbits of gossip that still make me feel a part of their lives, for calling me when they need to share news, or laugh or even (God forbid) cry. I am grateful for the little girl on the way who has no idea that waiting for her is the sweetest thing on earth, and that Mummy and Daddy really can’t wait to see her, hold her and spoil her rotten.

I apologize for being so personal and sad in this post, but I guess I needed to let off some steam.

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