Marriage in movies – Le3bet el 7ob (The game of love)

I am not a romantic movie fan in general, I find them soppy, sappy and boring and it usuall has an unbelievably happy ending.  That said I watched Le3bet el 7ob, starring Khaled Abou El-Naga and Hend Sabry a couple of days ago and I liked it.  Since I am not going to spoil it for you I’m not going to tell you what happens, but I did like how they depicted marriage for the new age Egyptian couple.

In one scene Khaled Abo El-Naga goes home turns on the lights and throws his jacket on the chair in the hallway, his wife immedeatly calls out to him telling him (in a very annoyed voice) to switch off the lights and not to leave his jacket on the chair because that’s not where it should be.

It was one of those “Aha” moments as Oprah calls them.  This kind of behavior is what gets you in marriage rut.  In every marriage there are those annoying things that each spouse does and it gets on the other person’s nerves.  I know firsthand because we have that same “turn off the light” conversation most days, my husband likes the lights really bright and I don’t.  There’s also “why can’t you pick up your dirty clothes” talk everyday.  A few months back I decided to totally drop these little nags and just do the things myself without feeling angry or petty.  The interesting thing was that the pesky socks eventually learned to find their way to the laundry basket on their own and the lights are at medium brightness most of the time.

Along the way we forget what brought us together and remember only the small annoying little things, we stop looking at our spouse as a partner, a friend, a confidant and an amazing person and we see a husband and a father.  I think that is what turns many marriages sour.  If there are things that bug you, talk to your other or should I say better half nicely, explain why this thing bothers you and tell him clearly what you would prefer he or she do without being accusatory or aggressive, then drop it.  If this thing is one of those little things don’t nag, eventually it will fix itself.

Nagging just annoys the person being nagged, they feel belittled and usually get on the defensive or passive aggressive side.  For every bad habit your partner has thing of 2 good ones and you will definitely realize that they are just great and your need to nag will go away, so will your feeling of martyrdom too.

Enjoy your relationship instead of focusing on the flaws and it will all work itself out.

8 Comments

  • At 2008.10.27 08:11, mona said:

    You’re absolutely right, why is it that we see the annoyances so much more? We have to make a conscious choice to look at the good things that we love about our partners.

    • At 2008.10.27 10:09, gjoez said:

      Nice tips, rabbena yedeena tolt el 3omr w nel7a2 nettaba2aha 😛

      • At 2008.10.27 10:50, inas said:

        marriage is a full time friendship usually we take our friends as they are to enjoy thier company and support .

        • At 2008.10.27 12:58, RJay said:

          I loved that movie it was actually pretty real
          on how people bring up their children in a bubble that’s totally set aside from the reality especially marriage

          • At 2008.10.27 13:24, Solace said:

            I think one gets to the point where you take your spouse for granted. If you look at the small things they do for you on a daily basis, you would appreciate them much more and your marriage would be much happier.

            Haven’t seen the movie, but would love to see it!

            • At 2008.10.27 19:12, jessyz said:

              @mona: I don’t know why but we sort of ignore the good things and focus on the bad things.
              @gjoez: yalla shahelli
              @inas: sometimes we stop thinking of our spouse as a friend and take him for granted.
              @RJay: I liked that bit too, and how marriage is just part of an equation instead of two people who really want to be married.
              @Solace: I agree they do work hard to make us happy and we need to remember that. It’s a nice movie to see, a chick flick, nice to see while u relax.

              • At 2009.12.22 23:34, sameha said:

                Nice one…Khaled abu el naga had this great sentence..when talking abut the first love or somehting like this..it was really touching..hope u remember it

                • At 2009.12.24 09:33, jessyz said:

                  I can’t remember it at all. Maybe I should re watch the movie :-)