From my Inbox: Things my mother taught me

I got this email today it is so funny

• My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION…

“Just wait until your father gets home.”

• My Mother taught me about RECEIVING…

“You are going to get it when we get home!”

• My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE…

“What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don’t talk back to me!”

• My Mother taught me LOGIC…

“If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

• My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE…

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

• My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD…

“If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.”

• My Mother taught me HUMOR…

“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

• My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT…

“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

• My Mother taught me about my ROOTS…

“Do you think you were born in a barn?”

• My Mother taught me about GENETICS…

“You’re just like your father.”

• My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE…

“When you get to be my age, you will understand.”

• My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE…

“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

• My mother taught me about RELIGION…

“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

• My mother taught me about ENVY…

“There are millions of children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

• My mother taught me about FORESIGHT…

“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

• My mother taught me about IRONY…

“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

And last but not least…

• My Mother taught me about JUSTICE…

“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you….Then you’ll see what it’s like!