Why doesn’t someone invent that?

Seriously, why doesn’t someone invent these really important household items.

Automatic diaper changing machine. You hold the baby waist down in it and it washes, wipes and diapers a happy baby and leaves momy with clean hands.

Alarm clock with arms. It not only rings it gets it’s huge arms out and prods and tickles the heavy sleeper until they wake up.

Teleporter.  I think they’re working on this one.  But on a practical point of view this would have crazy security risks.  Armies could just teleport into other armies, thieves could teleport into your home and bank safes.  Still in a day dreaming kind of way it would be nice to just walk through something and not have to go through the hassle of travel.

Calorie free, health, tasty and good looking food.  No comment.

Babysitter in a can. These are the kind of ideas I get when I am exhausted at midnight and I really need some extra help.  My concern is would it be better to put her in a can or in a cardboard box.

Remote Control and Keys finder. You know how when you you can’t find your cell phone you just call it and it dutifully rings telling you where it is.  Why can’t they have that for remote controls and keys too?

Make a pessimist optimistic zapper. Something like a stun gun or something for those people in your life who annoy the hell out of you for their constant pessimism.  They zap the happiness out of you so why not zap the pessimism out of them?

Automatic facial generator mask. You know how sometimes you get stuck with totally boring people who keep talking and talking and you have to keep nodding your head and doing the right facial expressions?  Well this would totally fix things, you just put the mask on and go daydrem and smile while your mask makes the right frowns while they talk about their sore big toe, their mean boss and their car that needs fixing for the next hour and a half.  It

Nature generator. I would love to have a mountain and a flowing river in my living room.

The more the merrier

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