My Superpower

My Golden Torturers

My Golden Torturers

I have a super power.  I have decided to come out and tell the world that I can hear inanimate objects speak, well not any objects, but food.  Those pesky Ferrero Rocher balls have been calling me all morning.  My husband got me a box for Mother’s day and I hid it from myself so we could enjoy a couple every evening after dinner.  Normally I can eat them all, munch, munch in a matter of minutes.  They have been calling all morning and they know exactly how lonely I get in the mornings and they keep telling me how they will hug me (and sit on my hips forever) and be sweet to me.   They know how much I love their crunchy outside and their sweet creamy filling.  I’ve tried changing their hiding place and eating cheese instead and they just won’t be quiet.  I keep thinking if I eat one or two they will be quieter because there will be less of them talking but I don’t want to go there.  I was at the gym last night and the thin mommies just drove me crazy.  There was this lady who was probably in her late thirties and is thinner than my wrist so I am trying to control myself.  Eventually I threatened to nuke them in the microwave so now they are whimpering and crying, it makes me sad but I’d rather be mean than fat.

Does anyone know where I can find some loud carrots that will sing to me and entertain me in the morning?

15 Comments

  • At 2009.03.24 10:30, inas said:

    i think u r the only person i know who can hear food talking i think you will find carrots cucumber boiled potato mushroom i dont know what else lol

    • At 2009.03.24 11:19, Mona said:

      HAHAAH this post is so funny. Yea, you should just shut them up by eating them alllll! OR sending them with me.

      • At 2009.03.24 11:19, Mona said:

        HAHAAH this post is so funny. Yea, you should just shut them up by eating them alllll! OR sending them to me.

        • At 2009.03.24 11:39, Shimaa Gamal said:

          Well, fi 7etet 2eshta fi el talaga betnady 3alya mn embare7 and it suggested that there is a jar of jam and they will make a perfect duet.
          All what I had to do is to go up the scale, I have put on 2 kilos thanks to some butter who kept telling me they are too good to be wasted in the fridge! Unfortunately carrots can’t sing :( :(

          • At 2009.03.24 11:55, jessyz said:

            @inas: shofti, fi nas tanya that can hear food.
            @Mona: Eventually I will eat them all, I am pretty proud of myself that I haven’t binged on them yet.
            @Shimaa Gamal: If I find the singing carrots I’ll let you know. I keep standing in the fruit and veggie section at supermarkets waiting for them to talk to me, but they either can’t sing or they hate me for not loving them enough.

            • At 2009.03.24 16:30, marwa said:

              sar jay 3balee Ferrero Rocher !!!!
              yummy yummy :) se77a w hana :)

              • At 2009.03.25 09:59, KJ said:

                LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

                Don’t be ashamed! Chocolates speak the LOUDEST dear! I am an addict too!

                BTW, here in Dubai there is a place that makes healthy food, and they have these AMAZING chocolates – no sugar but they’re naturally sweety, and amazing, and so low on calories and fat it is almost divine!

                • At 2009.03.25 10:18, gjoez said:

                  LOOOOOOOL! You cracked me up begad!!!

                  • At 2009.03.25 12:22, jessyz said:

                    @marwa: sorry for causing a craving 😀
                    @KJ: Personally I love dark bittersweet chocolate, so I guess diet chocolate would be cool too.
                    @gjoez: ahoh 3ashan mat2olish jessyz 7armani men ay 7aga.

                    • At 2009.03.25 14:37, Juka said:

                      You should be writing children’s book, you have such a flare for the wild and innovative :) I love the post.

                      • At 2009.03.25 15:58, jessyz said:

                        @Juka: thanx, but they really were talking to me!

                        • At 2009.03.25 18:20, Karmi said:

                          Carrots don’t sing as well as chocolates.

                          • At 2009.03.25 23:05, Nerro said:

                            Rumor has it, the carrots of the world are signing a petition to stop the sheer discrimination 😉
                            seriously 7awli ma3 el carrots, they are cute and would eventually talk 😀

                            • At 2009.03.26 17:46, Mo said:

                              I just thought i drop u a quick Helloooo

                              • At 2009.03.28 12:17, jessyz said:

                                @Karmi: My carrots are mute.
                                @Nerro: I actually like baby carrots :-)
                                @Mo: Hey there.