Apartment for Rent: Wanted Cool Neighbors

The apartment accross ours is empty and I want new cool neighbors, here is my imaginary ad.

Wanted Cool Neighbors.  Are you a fun loving happy family looking for an apartment?  We’re looking for:

• a young family preferably with a one year old daughter to be friends with our little one.
• you don’t make noise, don’t scream and never ever shout obscene profanities at home.
• enjoy baking and are looking for a cookie making buddy that looks across the hall.
• don’t mind babysitting one night a week, we will definitely return the favor every week.
• have lots of interesting books you would like to swap with your neighbor and start a mini book club in the building.
• don’t leave your shoes at the door. (Yes, I understand you don’t want dirt coming into your house, but please build a shoe rack INSIDE your own apartment, I don’t want to see or smell your shoes)
• your house always smells nice, so nice we can smell it across the hall.
• you would love to have morning coffee with your next door neighbor and have an interesting and smart conversation too.

If you are interested and really exist, leave a comment below.