The evening news does not make me happy, which is why I don’t watch. Newspapers are morbid and depressing which is why when my husband buys them, I turn them into origami hats. I couldn’t find instructions online but this is what they look like. I learned making these a million years ago from a super huge origami book when I was 10 and the pattern got stuck in my head. Back to news, some news just makes me happy.
Someone I know (or don’t) got engaged or married. This always makes me happy.
A friend of mine is pregnant or gave birth. Heheheh yes this also makes me feel happy even though I feel sympathetic too.
A friend passed their exams. Now that I am older and wiser. Friends are finishing off Masters, MBAs and other really big exams so I always feel happy for them and proud of them that they are on their way.
Someone has lost weight because they wanted to not because they were sick. Nuff said
I used to love getting older, really, I did. I always felt that the older I got the better life would become. I thought that I would be able to see the world, do the things I wanted to do and be the person I wanted to be. “Har har har” Life said, “The joke is on you”. I definitely don’t feel “older” but feel more “aged”.
I think the biggest change that I’ve noticed is my inability to let go and dream like I used to. I used to believe that the world was my oyster and that I was invincible and could do everything and anything I wanted to do.
Now, I am more laid back which is not a bad thing but just different. I used to worry about everything, but now I know that things will figure themselves out in the end every time.
Are you a history and art buff? Then I have a lovely surprise for you. Part of PBS’s Empire Series, The Medici: Godfathers of the Renaissance is a lovely documentary which tells the story of how the Renaissance was born in 14th century Europe. The Renaissance which means rebirth in French was a period of cultural, artistic, scientific, political and religious rebirth.
And because I just love crowding my own head with lots of tidbits of information I think you should check these out too: Leonardo da Vinci Galileo Galilei Niccolò Machiavelli (also download The Prince) Filippo Brunelleschi Sandro Botticelli
Imagine you won a 100 million $, £, or €. Imagine what you could do with them. Check out fancy cars like Aston Martins and Rolls Royces. Browse Tiffany’s for that perfect ring. Look at the perfect Channel dresses (you might as well imagine that you’re a size 2 as well).
Imagine that you could teleport to any place in the world. Imagine opening doors into other countries all over the world. See Paris, Madrid and Palau all in one day.
Imagine that you could sing like an angel.
Imagine that you are an astronaut or whatever job you think is really cool.
Imagine that you are as talented as Picasso.
Imagine that you are a movie director directing the next Oscar winning movies, then imagine yourself at Cannes.
Imagine that you are a mermaid.
Imagine that you are Alice and step into your looking glass.
Enjoy your evening inside your head. Children are happy beings because they imagine their own worlds. They eventually stop imagining because we teach them to “get real” but maybe they know better.
I had an epiphany this morning. Selfish people are happy people. I am not talking about extremely selfish people, but people who put their needs first. They are happy because they are satisfied and don’t feel like they are used or abused by others. I never really gave it much thought, but I think that mothers tend to suffer from the selfless martyr syndrome. They feel that they are needed, give too much then end up complaining that their kids and the world is ungrateful for everything they do and everything they have left behind. The thing is, no one asked them to do all of these things. Somewhere along the line they think that this is the best thing to do for the family so they start doing these things and forget that they have a choice. I think it also stems from the fact that as women especially in the Middle East we have this stereotype of mothers that doesn’t help. We have been conditioned to believe that a good mother is one that cares more about her children, husband, home than she cares about herself. If you try to imagine an Egyptian mother in your head, have you done it? Not exactly the kind of mother that might grace the covers of Parenting Magazine. I used to think I would be different, I would never smell like onions or garlic, I would never let myself gain weight, I would always look cute and take care of myself. Suddenly I realized I had done all of these things, I let go one thing after the next without thinking and suddenly the pathway back is so long and hard. It’s also how suddenly you become labeled “Mother” and you seem to lose the other labels like “Woman”, “Engineer”, “Interesting” and “Fun”. It doesn’t help that children are time eaters. Yes they are, they gobble up hours like they were minutes and then they need to be burped too.
Men do this too but in a different way and because they are not primary care givers and don’t go thrugh pregnancy or breastfeeding so it is still different for them, they drive themselves crazy by working so hard to provide financially for the family that they too sometimes feel exhausted mentally and physically.
Anyhoo, some women are naturally selfish (the good kind of selfish), they understand that if they are happy, everyone else can be happy. They easily accept offers of babysitting by their friends and relatives so they can take some time off for themselves. They know how to set boundaries for themselves and their children to keep themselves happy. They buy face cream and use it regularly [buying is easy, sticking to a routine is harder]. The question is, can this behaviour be learned? I think it can, but I also think some people do this naturally or learn it from their own mothers.
I am on a new path to find my own way back to myself.
By nature, I shy away from confrontation unless I really, absolutely, positively have to. I sometimes wonder if this is because I am really good at building my own comfort zones on floating clouds in imaginary skies, or have I somehow managed to perfect this skill because I don’t like getting out of my comfort zone. It’s not that I am a coward or don’t like taking risks. At least I wasn’t always this way, but somehow the older I get, the less fighting I want to do. This is not exactly what I want to be doing right now, because I realized I still have alot of things that I would like to do. But then again, when I do want to do something I always feel that I either have to do it well or not do it at all. That is when I “want” to do something, if I just “have” to do something I usually do what I have to do.
Which is why I haven’t been posting lately. I open the editor, start typing and then delete everything and close the window. It’s becoming a pattern that I am trying to break because I know that once you get in a rut the only way to get out is by clawing your way out. It’s not for lack of ideas or interesting things to say but the inability to formulate them into a coherent and interesting peice. It’s like all of these wonderful ideas that are more like scraps of paper floating around in my head but I can’t put them all together to write something that would be readable.
So, to fix this problem I have decided to change my beauty regime. Weird right? Totally unrelated, right? Who cares? I need to take better care of my skin and that might eventually affect my brain and put it back into order.
Now, I just have to decide what face cream to use.
Woowoo, Woo for short is Lulu’s favorite toy. I think he’s not a toy to her he’s her friend. Woowoo is a plush baby harp seal. Woo is her constant companion and she is so attached to the little bugger it is weird. He has lost his nose and is dirty and stained all over, but he is very loved. She hugs him, chews on his nose and tries to feed him. She wakes up and looks around for him if he’s not in her crib and holds on to him while she’s falling asleep. Woo accompanies us on shopping trips and has even been to the beach. She even asks for him while she’s in the bath but that’s rubber duck time which she calls Battah now and makes sure that Battah is in the bath whenever she goes into the bathroom.
The interesting thing is that Woo was a hand me down toy, my sister in law showed up one day with a huge bag of toys which her kids had outgrown and there were two baby seals in the bag, a clean one and Woo. Lulu decided instantaneously that Woo was hers. She knows they are alike but understands that Woo is Woo. The other one is called “2ottah” like any other plush animal that she doesn’t know what to call. Since she’s little Daddy’s girl, he has gotten her tons of little cute plushes and soft toys and tried to make her take an interest in them instead of Woo but since she IS Daddy’s little girl she is also very stubborn. Last week we were in Toys’R’Us and he tried to convince her to choose a toy. He tried kittens, puppies, Looney Toons characters, Sesame Street characters, dolls and bunnies. She would look at them curiously for a while then look around for Woo and then start asking for him. He tried again this weekend at Ikea but gave up much faster because he already knew that she just loves her Woo.
She named him Woowoo, and when she asks for him at home we go around saying “Wooowoo where are you?” for a couple of minutes, looking under chairs and tables until we find him. This makes her giggle like crazy.
It’s an interesting love affair. I have had to retrace my steps so many times because when I strap her in her car seat and she looks around for him and we realize that he must have fallen somewhere while we were walking around and we go back looking for him.
So if you see a grown woman frantically calling for Woo and looking for a really beaten down white seal, don’t think she is crazy. She is just a mother who is in love with her daughter, who is in love with Woo.
My father passed away exactly 10 years ago today. He was a great father and a great man. There were many times when I wished I could just talk to him when I felt that I needed help, but I have definitely missed him the most in the happier events of life.
I love hand cream, body butter, face cream, anything that comes in a jar, tube or bottle that makes your skin soft and leaves it smelling nice.
Fruttini Coco Banana Body Butter
I love this Fruttini Cocoa Banana Body Butter. My sister got me this once as a present and I’ve been in love with it ever since. The jar is huge so I sometimes put some in those little honey jars and keep them in my hand bag.
Vaseline Cocoa Butter
Vaseline’s new cocoa butter smells so nice and feels so good on your skin, you keep imagining desert islands and drinking Pina Coladas on the beach.
Johnson's Baby Lotion
Johnson’s Baby Lotion is probably one of the most versatile lotion’s on earth. It is gentle and you can also use it as a make up remover. And who wouldn’t want to smell like a baby. My daughter and I use it but whenever she catches me using it she squeals “baby baby baby” as if trying to say “that’s mine!”.
Olay's Total Effects
Olay’s Total Effects is good face cream. I just like the way it makes me feel like a wiser more mature woman, which might be why I use it.
Palmet's Cocoa Butter
Palmer’s Cocoa Butter is perfect for hands that have been washing dishes or changing diapers.
I just realized I love Cocoa Butter, you must think I am a boring and predictable person I actually love the regular Vaseline too, it’s awesome for tired feet and heels and when I want it to smell nice I add a drop of whatever essential oils I have and presto you have a super smelling cream. I also love Jergen’s Musk cream too.