Because I Have To

By nature, I shy away from confrontation unless I really, absolutely, positively have to.  I sometimes wonder if this is because I am really good at building my own comfort zones on floating clouds in imaginary skies, or have I somehow managed to perfect this skill because I don’t like getting out of my comfort zone.  It’s not that I am a coward or don’t like taking risks.  At least I wasn’t always this way, but somehow the older I get, the less fighting I want to do.  This is not exactly what I want to be doing right now, because I realized I still have alot of things that I would like to do.  But then again, when I do want to do something I always feel that I either have to do it well or not do it at all.  That is when I “want” to do something, if I just “have” to do something I usually do what I have to do.

Which is why I haven’t been posting lately.  I open the editor, start typing and then delete everything and close the window.  It’s becoming a pattern that I am trying to break because I know that once you get in a rut the only way to get out is by clawing your way out.  It’s not for lack of ideas or interesting things to say but the inability to formulate them into a coherent and interesting peice. It’s like all of these wonderful ideas that are more like scraps of paper floating around in my head but I can’t put them all together to write something that would be readable.

So, to fix this problem I have decided to change my beauty regime.   Weird right?  Totally unrelated, right?  Who cares? I need to take better care of my skin and that might eventually affect my brain and put it back into order.

Now, I just have to decide what face cream to use.