Confessions on the Hair Monster

Yes, I confess, I am a hair monster.  I treat my hair really badly with the conviction that hair eventually grows out or back.   A word of advice, it grows yes that is true but it also gets angry and starts doing weird things if you abuse it way too much.  Over the years I have done some really bad bad things to my hair.

The Mullet

The mullet was not my idea, the mullet could not have been prevented.  In a sad sad summer, the summer when my parents sent us to Egypt and my mom was in China and my dad was in Scotland my sister and I were left with my grandmother.  My grandmother is a wonderful lady, she really is, her only problem was that she had this weird idea that a mullet cut would a) look good on us. b) would be more manageable.  Unfortunately she was wrong on both counts.  My sister had it even worse.  I would love to show you pictures but since we are both veiled now I can’t, plus I think my sister burned all evidence of that time.  Seriously mullets suck and are a pain in the neck to grow out.

Sheen

Sheen was so wrong.  Imagine Black Henna married to a regular perm. First of all it smells really strong and its application is torture you have to keep it on your hair for six hour so we would just apply it and wear a plastic shower cap and use an old pillow case on the pillows and fall asleep.  Falling asleep with smelly goo on your head is not a good idea.  Then you have to wash it off in the morning.  Washing it out was a pain too.  It’s like washing sticky sand out of your hair.  The effect is straight jet black hair.  It was awesome on my mom’s hair, who has naturally jet black hair.  On my sister and I it looked wrong, my sister is a red head and I am a brunette so we just looked like Adam’s Family Halloween costumes gone wrong.  What I hated the most was how the ends looked, they looked like pins sticking out.

Home Hair Dye

I dye my hair at home because I am lazy and a little bit cheap and usually really bored.  I get bored with my hairon a, my husband doesn’t like short hair so I decide to dye it.  That’s what happens.  I am good at the application and it turns out looking really nice, but boy does hair dye dry your hair.  Everytime I tell myself I am not going to do it again but I can’t help myself.

Diet Pepsi

Yes, I once poured half a can of diet pepsi on my hair.  Why?  Because we were at the beach and my friends were talking about how beer supposedly gives you that sun kissed bleached hair.  Since I don’t drink and won’t buy beer because of Religious reasons I thought I drink Diet Pepsi, maybe that would work on my hair.  I am not sure if it did or if it was the acid or because I slept for a couple of hours in the sun but my hair did get a shade lighter.  Brutal aren’t I?

Soap and Water

Have you ever washed your hair with hand soap?  Don’t, your hair will not forgive you easily.  There were times when I’d relalize too late that we just ran out of shampoo and I’d just wash my hair anyway with shower gel or regular soap.   Thankfully that doesn’t happen anymore because my husband and I buy too much shampoo and there is usually a bottle of baby shampoo too.  The odds of running out of three types of shampoo at the same time are not against my hair.  I love baby shampoo.  It smells so clean and fresh.  I also use the stuff for bubble baths for Lulu because it doesn’t hurt her eyes when she puts her face in the water to eat the bubbles.  Although if you do have an all natural organic olive oil soap bar, then by all means do try washing your hair with it, your hair will thank you.  Seriously, Olive Oil soap is just like magic.

I have done some good things to my hair too, they’re just not as many as the no-nos.  Like last year I tried the Brazillian Blow Dry Keratin thing.  At first I didn’t see a difference but then I realized that my hair was not as frizzy as it used to be and it was noticeably more manageable.  I also went through a phase of deep conditioning because I bought a jar of beautifully smelling deep shea butter conditioner, unfortunately I can’t find the stuff again.  I also tried the conditioner only cleaning method which was also really nice to my hair.  You wash your hair with conditioner only, no shampoo.  You need to use the cheaper kinds of conditioner because they are lighter and work better in this method.

What is the worst thing you have done to your hair?

24 Comments

  • At 2010.01.14 11:23, Ola said:

    Nice post!! Well, I think my hair hates me because I have this bad bad bad habit of pulling my hair out, hair by hair, i realy enjoy that! I also enjoy splitting the ends ofmy hair…

    Of course the result is that I have an excessive amount of baby hair that I’m waiting for to grow back to a normal lenght, any ideas that may help speed up the process?

    • At 2010.01.25 15:14, jessyz said:

      You are so cruel! Why on earth do you do that?

      • At 2010.01.14 13:00, Shimaa Gamal said:

        This is just hilarious ya Jessy :)
        And I thought I abuse my hair! I never dyed my hair and I don’t think I will do till I get it all grey. Because dye is bad for the hair, it dries it out and I love my natural color :)

        But I am guilty of using shower gel to wash my hair when I ran out of shampoo. I try to use conditioner after this but it doesn’t really help. One wash with shower gel means a whole month of dryness.

        Before the veil I used to go with the curly look. Which meant using too much hair cream/ oil and never comb the hair. And I am not sure if it even looked good. I am just a lazy person :)

        I am now guilty of never letting my hair breath, my grandma said that it will fall out, and my aunt thinks that I pull it too much to the back and this too will make me bald. I think they are both true … But who cares. Bald will be the new blonde one day 😀

        I am so guilty of carelessness. I take my hair for granted. I can’t get the patience some people have to care for their hair.

        • At 2010.01.14 14:39, ze2red said:

          Wow… u did all of that.
          i always think of me abusing my hair by not washing it for 4 days maslan… because i have greasy hair. But when i imagine myself doing all what u did, i think i’ll commit suicide first, i’m not a person who cares at all. i think leaving it to take the shape it likes is the better way to let your hair love you and breathe. My hairdresser says i’m the best one in the family who takes care of her hair, and the secret is i do nothing except washing it and combing it regularly to look nice and get rid of the knots, because they too damage ur hair.

          • At 2010.01.15 17:32, gjoez said:

            1- I don’t comb my hair ATL ALL except when I get out from the shower.
            2- I even sometimes don’t comb my hair when I get out from the shower when I am late and have to go out fast.
            3- The longest I stayed without washing my hair was about 17 days. Yuck.

            As a conclusion,My hair is always messy, whether I have it all banded or not. It is one of the greatest disappointments of my mom, since she takes extra extra care of her hair and it still looks gorgeous msA.

            (What is a mullet?)

            • At 2010.01.15 18:02, ze2red said:

              Gjoe, sometime soon this will have to change, and i’ll wait for the day you come and tell me i’m taking care of my hair :)

              • At 2010.01.15 18:09, gjoez said:

                If you are hinting at getting married, well newsflash: Getting married does not make you better!

                • At 2010.01.15 18:12, ze2red said:

                  i’m cracking :D, well hanshof. remind me when i see you to tell u something a friend told me a few years ago about this topic bezat.

                  • At 2010.01.15 18:13, gjoez said:

                    Matshofeesh we7sh :)

                    • At 2010.01.15 20:32, Shimaa Gamal said:

                      tayeb why don’t you share with us ya ze2red 😀 wala el kalam elly el friend said is a secret 😀

                      fiha, la akhfeeha 😀

                      • At 2010.01.15 21:54, ze2red said:

                        La2 akeed enty feha ya shimaa 😀

                        bosy ya setty, 3.5 years ago right after i finished my graduation project, i flew to the States with dad as a treat for becoming a big-graduated girl, and i paid some friends a visit. As everybody expects a young girl to be engaged and married “el 3orf”, they thought to prepare me for what’s coming, so the took me on girlish shopping trips (all kind of shopping). One of the trips was makeup related. They tried convincing me about buying makeup even though they knew i don’t wear makeup. So this is how the conversation went on when i said i even don’t know how to wear makeup and look nice, i always give myself a disastrous-master-piece look:

                        Rasha: Sara you don’t wear makeup even at home?! (she was surprised)

                        Me: Nope!

                        Rasha: what about when you visit your girl friends at their home or they pay you a visit.

                        Me: nope again! they are lucky to see me without a veil

                        Rasha: (with a blank face on) Girl what will you do when you get married?.

                        Me: He would have accepted me that way, and why should that change?! (normal answer from my side, i was surprised by the question actually)

                        Rasha: Sara you need to listen carefully. Men are like babies, Boys will always be boys. They need to be pampered, and they need fresh-new looks always. They get bored easily, so you need to look and smell nice always. You have to be attractive and sexy. There are so many temptations out there. You watch TV and you know what’s aired. So if you think he settled for this plain look before marriage and he will accept it afterwords. Know that your marriage is domed. If you think you can’t keep up with those super models, try to find the hidden beauty in you, he will notice and know you are trying, he will love you more, appreciate the gestures and maybe guide you to what he likes and tell you when u do something that he resents. But don’t ever think that he will be happy with you looking like someone has torn you up and you smell like onion when coming out of the kitchen just because you are taking care of the house and the kids, this is not an excuse. You will need every once in a while to wear something totally nice, get your hair done, wear makeup and perfume, and be the woman of his dreams.

                        Me: Huh!!! (I had my mouth open wide. This was extreme i know! but when i gave it some thought. It was one great advice and i still remember it till now, even if i’m still single :D)

                        PS: i over heard some guys talks a little while ago, and they said the very same thing. i can recall one of the lines “ya3ni ana maslan 3awez adkhol el beet al2ay hayfa wahby dakhla 3alya!!!”

                        girls, you need to take care of that hair, and treat it well. Sam3a ya GARA!!!

                        Shimaa, this is the secret, eh ra2yek?

                        • At 2010.01.16 10:50, Brownie said:

                          Having the Afro curly hair, tab3an the best solution for it, was perm and not any perm, the worst of all “Glatt”, although i discover later more decent brands like soft & beautiful but it was too late to fix the damage, till i decided to stop it and actually i discovered that my natural hair is much better, yes it became more curly but full of life not like the sticky look before and now i am 4 years perm free \o/

                          • At 2010.01.25 15:16, jessyz said:

                            Hehehe unfortunately some things must be learned the hard way.

                            • At 2010.01.16 21:13, Sara said:

                              lol, that’s funny 😀

                              Well for me the worst thing I did was couple years ago, I’ve always had long hair but one time i was very depressed and upset so i chopped it using scissors 😀

                              • At 2010.01.16 23:35, Shimaa Gamal said:

                                @ze2red, I don’t wear make-up either. I used to wear lip gloss and eye-liner in college but probably that because I was so happy I am old enough to do 😀
                                I don’t like make-up and I am not good at wearing it, I usually end up looking like a clown.

                                As ba2a ha3mel eh ba3d el gawaz, fa zay abl el gawaz bezzabt :) I dress up occasionally. Which means eny i get out a nice dress that I can’t wear out coz of the veil, and I treat myself to a hair-do and a little bit of lip gloss. And even fi el 3ady ya3ny, I don’t wear the ommena el 3’oola look ella lama akoon feeling really down. Which will still hold true bardo after marriage, dah if i ever got married ya3ny 😀

                                I don’t think that the Hayfa2 Wahbi look is feasible everyday, dah keberoh feasible mara fi 3eed el 3omal we mara fi seta october we el hamdullah 3ala keda.

                                Why you are not on my facebook till now? Add me :)

                                • At 2010.01.16 23:52, ze2red said:

                                  i’m cracking up and laughing out loud to an extent that they will think i’m crazy here at home 😀

                                  you have a very good sense of humor.

                                  @ Gjoe: i’m waiting for feedback.

                                  • At 2010.01.17 00:23, Deee said:

                                    Jessyz (AND GJOE)

                                    YOU BRUTAL BRUTAL BRUTAL GIRLS!! 7ARAAAM 3ALEIKO, ana ba3ayat l-sha3roko! I was just telling gjoe now that I bought my first blow-dryer yesterday, the reason why I NEVER used one is enni ba7’aaf 3ala sha3ri!

                                    The worst thing I did to my hair was washing it on daily basis fi 3rd year college, that kinda dried it out and took about a year too fix! Dana bafakar akol 7ezmet gargeer kol yom 3ashan yeb2a in better shape YA MOFTAREYEEEEN!!!

                                    • At 2010.01.25 15:17, jessyz said:

                                      mesh awy ya3ni walahi ana ba7awel bas I sometimes totally screw myself

                                      • At 2010.01.17 00:29, gjoez said:

                                        Ze2red: feedback 3ala eh? Rasha’s? Well.. kalam gameel.. w kalam ma32ool.. ma2darsh a2ool 7aga 3annoh! bass el nefs ya o7’tshy

                                        Dee: Mashy ya setty e7na we7sheen..whatever ya3ny 😀

                                        • At 2010.01.19 17:01, Sameha said:

                                          To Z2red :) In Despearate Housewives, i head the same quote :)…Men only mind the looks nothing more :)

                                          Luv it ya yasmine..althu i remember the first time i used soap on my hair was bcoz of you :) we went to el sa7el zamaaaan awy and we had no shampooo so you used it so when i was in the same situation i used plain soap and it worked :)

                                          • At 2010.01.25 15:17, jessyz said:

                                            heheheh ana el sabab, maho asl el saboona 3omraha ma7at2olek la2 mate3’seleesh sha3rek beya :-)

                                            • At 2010.01.20 11:33, ze2red said:

                                              I watched that episode 2 days ago :) w enbasat behom awy because it’s true.

                                              • At 2010.01.25 15:20, jessyz said:

                                                To Ze2red, GJoe and Shimaa

                                                I tried to reply to each comment then toht but I love this conversation.

                                                I have to agree with Ze2red on this one, men don’t like ommeina el 3’oola. Actually no one likes Omeina el 3’oola of course unless fee abooona el 3’ool. El mohem, we should learn to take better care of ourselves and not to slip. The problem is that the road to mankoosha el fankoosha is a very slippery one, trust me. I love Shimaa’s idea on getting dressed up and all.

                                                Bottom line my advice is, even if you don’t get your hair done all the time. Nice clothes, perfume, a little bit of kohl and pretty dangly earings really can make the world of a difference. They make us feel pretty and nice before the man of the house does.

                                                • At 2010.03.17 10:38, Desmond Deveyra said:

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