Another awesome post by Deppys, I can’t wait for part two of this. Her first post on being a lousy parent was a huge hit, and I am betting this one and it’s sequel will be too.
Have you ever wonder why an outfit just looks great on someone, even though you might not particularly like the clothes? And why another outfit that you like very much can’t actually fits you? Have you ever go crazy hunting high and low to find something that fits and flatters your body. You try this and that, you waste your time and energy just to find the perfect fit, and sometimes your search goes in vain?
Bad news, most of us can’t really recognize the first basics, and instead they go with the trial and error method. We used to dress based on well known facts based on heights and weights, not paying much attention to the secret ingredient. It’s how you ‘body shapes’ looks like; and that is the good news.
Am gonna give you some tips and tricks that you can use in order to recognize your shape and then to learn how to maintain and revamp your style into a personal fab brand new one, right away!
So let’s get started already!
Look at your overall silhouette — the contours of your frame and how your upper and lower half are in-line with each other — to give you an idea on what you’ll have to focus on to look proportional and determine yours out of the main known shapes:
Inverted Triangle shape.
The classic body shape, it’s considered to be the most ideal body shape because of its proportions. If you’re an hourglass, you have the potential to dress like a luscious Marilyn Monroe or Italian movie-star. In hourglass there is no “dragging point” in your frame that draws too much attention, well, except for your defined feminine waist! And yes, they all come in different sizes.
Call yourself an hourglass if:
Your shoulders and hips are symmetric.
You have a full, shapely bust.
You waist is distinctly defined.
You have a shapely Legs.
The waist is 20 cm to 30cm smaller than your hip or bust measurements.
Your gained weight would distribute evenly right to your curves.
Sisters’ celebrities: Megan Fox, Salma Hayek, Scarlett Johansson, Halle Berry, Kate Winslet and Jessica Biel
aka: triangle, spoon, Bell shape
The shape that you have is a natural womanly body shape. It’s hot and catchy, I bet you got all the stares and whistles; generally most men are attracted to the curves that you have. It’s just a part of our nature.
Call yourself a pear if..
You have a long or slender neck, and a sloped shoulders.
Your bust and shoulders are proportionally narrower than your hip-line.
You have a well-defined waist.
Maybe your butt is full and curvy.
Your thighs are likely full or muscular.
You most likely have a balanced body or short legged vertical body shape.
Your Bottom size is 2 or more sizes bigger than your top size.
Your gained weight tends to show up below the waistline around your thighs and hips as opposed to your stomach and mid-section.
Sisters’ celebrities: Oprah, Beyonce, Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Coleen McLoughlin, Shakira and Jennifer Lopez
Currently this shape is the “ideal” shape for today’s top models; many women would kill for your athletic shape. There’s no main area you want to minimize so you can get away with more things than most. However you may crave more curves — an illusion easily created with the right clothing.
Call yourself a rectangle if:
Your neck is full.
You have a broad back.
Your bust is small to medium.
You have an undefined or little waist definition.
You may also have a flat bottom.
Slim long arms and slender lengthy legs.
Your waist measures from 2.5cm to 20cm smaller than the bust.
You may look shorter and heavier than you really are.
You most likely have a balanced body or long legged vertical body shape.
You wear the same size on your top and bottom halves.
If you were to gain/lose weight, it would distribute evenly throughout your frame.
An athletic body shape; your frame is quite common among catwalk models. And often your type of shape comes with nice, lean legs. This is the second best female shape.
Although the inverted triangle shape is the least common petite figure type, this shape is the envy of others because a full bust and wide shoulders bring emphasis to the top of the figure, rather than the hips and thighs. And yes, they all come in different sizes, as well.
Call yourself an inverted triangle if…
Your bust and shoulders are proportionally wider than your hips (so-called clothes hanger shoulders), projecting a sporty and athletic physique.
You have an undefined waists.
Your hips are narrow.
You might have slim legs related to this inverted shape.
You most likely are a long legged vertical body shape with proportionally slim legs.
Sisters’ celebrities: Renee Zellweger, Naomi Campbell, Teri Hatcher and Demi Moore
Apple aka oval/diamond/round
You’re pretty in proportion but tend to have a softer fuller middle without a well-defined waist. You have the overall appearance of being round especially around the waist-line. You might appear top heavy. And your bust and mid-riff might appear bigger than your hips.
Call yourself an apple if:
You have fuller face and neck.
Your shoulders are broad.
You have a fuller Breasts.
Your waist is undefined.
Your hips are narrow.
You have a flat rear end.
Your legs are sharp.
Torso and upper body wider than your hips.
One or two sizes bigger top than bottom.
When Apples gain weight, they have a tendency to gain in the midsection.
Usually thinner apple shapes resemble rectangle and inverted triangle because of their wide upper body. But once they gain weight, the fat gets stored around your upper half, making your torso look top-heavy and curvy.
Sisters’ celebrities: Angelina Jolie, Chandra Wilson, Rosie O’Donnell, Jennifer Hudson and Elizabeth Hurley
So, what is your shape?
Stay tuned for the next post…How to flatter the hell out of your body!
Every one (not just women) should have at least one easy go to chocolate cake recipe. Sameeha and I go way back. Really way back when we were in kindergarten, maybe before that. We lived in the same building and were best friends and then both our separate ways when my family moved from Kuwait. Somehow we managed to get back in touch. She is one of the sweetest most genuine people you could ever meet. Bubbly and happy, she might not be as close (she lives on a totally different continent) as I would like but she’s definitely a very very very very close friend.
Easiet Chocalte Cake Ever
As per everything overwhelming we are experiencing right now fromt he uprising in all the middle east
to the terrifying earthquake and Tsuanami hitting Japan, nothing is better than baking an easy chocalte cake
in a few minutes. Its really simple and I hope you all try it and update me with your feedback.
1 cup of flour
1 cup of oil
1 cup of sugar
1 cup of milk
2 Table spoons of cocoa
1 teaspoon of vanailla
1 teaspoon of Baking Powder
Using your belnder
1-Mix the oil, milk and the sugar + the cocoa.
2-Set one cup of the above aside.
3-Using the rest in the blender , add the eggs + vanilla, mix together.
4-Mix the dry ingredients < flour + Baking Powder> and then add the above “in number 3” all together.
5-Bake for 25 minutes in meduim oven.
6-Once out from the oven pour the cup set aside on top.
I can’t remember how I stumbled upon Rasha*’s blog. But I remember being touched by the passion and wealth of emotions. I always feel that she is a realistic dreamer. When I first invited her to post she said she wanted to have her post published on the 21st of March, Mother’s day. So I was expecting a mother related post, but I definitely wasn’t expecting this. Thank you Rasha for such a wonderful post.
All I remember from my childhood is my mom.My mom gave me this; my mom gave me that…my mom talking me out, my mom yelling at me.
My mom was my whole world for a very long time.
She was like any other loving mom but with a twist.
She was the single mom.
And single mothers make double the effort and take double the crap from life. My dad was in Europe most of my childhood and she took every responsibility in the book.
It is not really about feeding and clothing…it is about facing everyday totally alone with no husband to nag to and no father to do the yelling.
She did it all, she disciplined, studied, befriended and yelled…and I remember an occasional 3al2a from time to time mainly infused by fear for me and probably fear from her as she struggled to make me the best girl in my family.
My mom had two targets in mind, my education and my ethics.
She gave me huge books to read since I was a child…she would sit me down with her to watch nady elcinema (ana 2adeema awi :D) and tell me about classic movies and movie stars…and every time I was invited to a friend’s house or to a school trip she would decline and take me out herself to any destination I want…she was over protective and she panicked from anything that would affect my education and my ethics.
I wouldn’t say that being a single mom is extra hard because she had to worry alone about the money, my school or boys who started to interfere in my early teenage years.
Nop, The hardest thing I think she had to go through is being the single woman in a society that alienated divorced women and treated them like khatafeen elregala by default.
Most neighbors avoided us…mothers making their kids avoid playing with me…women giving mom the look because she was prettier than most of them and single.
She had to fight extra hard to keep a formal image so that people would accept me…that was back in the days, can’t say that’s the case now although it happens sometimes.
She avoided parents meetings because after she would attend one, the teachers ask me about her and comment disrespectfully as if I am dumb and can’t hear them…gossip after my mom’s rare visits to my school were unbearable…for me and for her…but she always made it up for me…she would take me out (I loved wimpy) and buy me something I wanted.
She introduced me to responsibility at a very young age…I was 11 or 12 and knew how much we have and what bills we had to pay…when I was 13 I would control the household budget and do the paying and hire a plumber or an electrician to fix something around the house…
when she had lots of money she would lead a life of a millionaire and we she had no money we were very happy to live on a 5 piaster bread and a piece of cheese for months…she taught me to be happy regardless but she was always terrified of the no money phase…I could feel her…I feel her!
My mom did the best she knows how…she wasn’t always wise…but she couldn’t have known it…and she couldn’t have given me more…
When the wheels turned and I had to go through what she went through my heart ached continuously…I promised myself I wouldn’t repeat her mistakes but at the same time I keep wishing I could give my kids a fraction of the devotion she gave me.
I wish my kids love me a fraction of the love I feel for her. She has my utmost respect and cherishing…and regardless of any annoying blasts she some times throws at me J I will always do my very best make her happy and comforted.
Happy mother’s day to all moms and one extra rose to single moms.
Ze2red sent me this lovely post from her comments section that were a reply to this post. The best thing about blogging is the discussion it generates. This is a great example of exactly that. Ze2red thank you very much for sharing this with us.
Go on and read the post first. I can wait.
Did you read it? Ok good, here is the rest of the post
This post was a result of a blogshpere conversation between Ibhog and I. We were discussing the relationships between guys and girls, and what makes it go on or sink down the drain. And this is how it went:
Ibhog: This is exactly, why guys bail on girls. At first, she admires him for being open minded, and that’s very fulfilling for him, but when things get serious (i.e we pass to the life phase of a relationship), he won’t be able to continue, because he’ll get back to his normal self again, which is pretty much out of his hands, it’s imposed by society for the most part, and of course out of him feeling insufficient.
At this point, the girl pulls back too very fast, complicating things. Now, let me tell you that me ‘wanting to be honest with you (as in I accept your conditions)’, rather than me ‘being really honest with you’, are totally different things, but yet they all compose so much of how I care about you and how much I crave you in my life.
Ze2red: The thing about pulling back here, I guess the boy is out of his element at first, he starts liking the girl, falling for her, and at some point in time he thinks, how I ever lived my life without her?. So the first stages of falling in love is imposed, he starts spoiling the girl, it’s true, he is being himself, he is that romantic guy “all in his own way, as long as she is fine with it”, caring too much, being the TENDER man “7ot ta7tha 1000 red line”, caring, loving, and most of all showing her who he really is in a nice way, so she would accept him. The thing is if she does accept him in that phase with all his good and bad. Then for now the deal is sealed.
What changes things is that girls take a longer time to fall in love and out of it, or let’s say get to that Life stage a little later after men do. So what happens that after a while the guy starts heading back to his real life “u actually said that”, what the guys don’t know is the girl at this point gets blur and mixed visions, one moment he is lifting me up high, the next he is totally ignoring me. So she starts wondering, is he falling out of love, and she starts questioning herself, did I do something wrong? Was I rude at some point? Did I get the clues when it was too late? And the relationship starts shaking.
You know why this happened? Because it is so normal for guys to quickly get back to life, and carry on with its pace with absolutely no explanation at all for their reactions. They just disappear like if the world is heading towards and apocalypse and the destiny of mankind is in their hands. Simply girls don’t get that men will sometimes take their distances then come back as much as passionate as before. No one gave us that Guy thinking instruction book. And believe me no one gave guys the Girls emotional manual book either, to give you some hints how girls’ emotions can cause them pain in the ass, and take their minds to places they should never visit.
Girls are so sensitive, and this cause them bad headaches, because they feel that they should interpret each action of their partners’ and that they should be related to them “self centered- I know”, but this is how things go in the very beginning, and it might take those turn again when they are married, if they went through some rough time “either one of them, or both of them”.
A guy simply needs his space, disappear, and head to places where he can find back his peace of mind. Figure things out to be precise. Then he will surface again, and come out of his cave. At this moment the girl would have lost her mind :D. Disappearing without saying is the worst thing you can do to punish your spouse. She grows tremendously worried, and all kind of bad ideas start flowing in her mind “ma3lesh mewasweseeeen” , so the least you can do is just tell her you need your quality time, if you really made your right choice about your lifetime partner, she will totally understand and frees you away, because she knows deep down you are coming back. Isn’t it all about talking and listing (i.e communication). Just spare her the trouble of thinking she is the reason behind every disappearance you make, the feel of guilt is BAD, it eats her up, kills the good feelings, and will turn your life into hell on earth “ta3lo 3ala nafsoko ya regala, w ray7o demaghko, ento el kasbaneen fel akher”… Guess what, keeping her in the picture (I mean when u are feeling down, not all the time) will make her worried about you, but secured about herself, she will start praying for you from deep down her heart – she loves you – and her prayers might be answered and things work out for your best. All she needs to know, you are physically OK – coz obviously you are not, emotionally – and that you are returning back to her. It’s not hard, believe me. By the way, it’s her right to know you are fine, the same as you like to be updated with her moves so you don’t get worried about her.
So the bottom line is, communication between spouses is a life, marriage, friendship and family savior.
Another interesting post by RJay about hidden blessings
After a month of the Great Egyptian Revolution we are still picking up the pieces of our lives and cleaning up after decades of corruption and every day we hear about more and more secrets coming out
Even though we are all happy to be part of history in the making and being witnesses to a new dawn of Egypt. It’s been hard on all of us with the absence of police , the rumors and the so called anti revolution we are all stressed and scared but hopeful
A lot of good has come out in this country politically speaking and socially speaking that we all know and are proud of
To lighten up the moods I thought I would list the things I personally think were a positive outcome of the revolution due to the curfew
1-We’re saving a lot of money since no one is going out
2-Spending a lot of quality time with your family since you’re stuck at home
3-My skin and hair has never looked so good since all I do at home is try out all the homemade masks I can think of
4-Broke my record of reading 2 300 page books in one night and working my way thru another two
5-I use the phone home instead of my cell phone and have socialized with a lot of people I hadn’t talked to in a while
6-Facebook has actually become a legit source of comprehensive world news not just a place to check out new sources of gossip
7-My culinary skills have improved greatly I can actually make perfect fatta now
8-I’m starting to re-prioritize a lot of things in my life
9- I don’t want to immigrate any more
10-Finishing up all my pending hand craft projects like my paint by numbers and some random sewing
Last but not least Ive learnt to count my blessings especially the security we all felt that didn’t make us think twice about going out at night or going out at all
Today is International Women’s day. And it marks the one hundredth year of this day being celebrated. So it is my pleasure and delight to introduce you to today’s writer, Marwa Rakha. I reviewed her book The Poison Tree back in 2008 and even though I didn’t agree with all of the book I thought it was a good read. Marwa is passionate and fearless with her opinions and if you have ever seen her speak on TV you will understand what I mean. Her topic of choice is one I believe is extremely important.
Social conditioning as defined by wikipedia is the sociological process of training individuals in a society to act or respond in a manner generally approved by the society in general and peer groups within society.
It takes time for social conditioning to happen and breaking free from it takes even more time, because sometimes it is quite difficult to realize that we’ve been conditioned to accept something or not instead of genuinely feeling that way towards it.
What have you become?
I am an angry person! My best articles were triggered by anger and any of my achievements was an angry reaction towards one form of injustice or the other.
I have been angry at men, society, women, publishers, censorship, the government, and injustice in general. Today I am going to share with you more anger! My dear women, you have been brainwashed and reformatted into abandoning true womanhood. You have been socially conditioned to become freaks!
Let me ask you some questions to drive my point through:
Why do you wear high heels?
Why do you wear corsets?
Why do you wear bras?
Why do you wear makeup?
How fashionable is your wardrobe?
How comfortable is your wardrobe?
How do you feel about grey hair?
How do you feel about those circles under your eyes?
How do you feel about those fine lines around your mouth?
How do you feel about your weight, your figure, your breasts, your thighs, your tummy, and your skin?
How do you feel about those stretch marks?
How do you feel about your body during pregnancy and after birth?
How do you feel about sex, nudity, sensuality, and breastfeeding?
Would you be ashamed to touch yourself? Would you be ashamed to look at the naked version of you in the mirror?
Would you be ashamed to breastfeed in public?
Would you choose having a c-section as opposed to a natural vaginal delivery?
Would you insist on taking drugs and pain-killers in labor?
Do you consider sleeping in the same bed with your baby lack of discipline?
Do you consider wearing your baby around in a carrier or a sling lack of discipline?
Do you think crying babies should be left to soothe themselves?
Those are just a few questions that might get you wondering how “society”, “social values”, and “men” have erased your true essence.
Many of us have rejected our own natural unique beauty to fit some frame that was predesigned by some guy! A guy is the reason why you are uncomfortable in your own skin! A guy made you wear heels and damage your posture! A guy made you wear corsets and damage your pelvic bones! A guy made you wear bras to make your breasts bigger or smaller or firmer or whatever shape he fancies! A guy made you forget that your breasts are simply fatty protrusions designed to nurture your babies! A guy forced his colors and lines on your wardrobe regardless of how comfortable you are wearing those clothes or how practical they are to fit your lifestyle! A guy convinced you that aging is a sign to decay! Instead of embracing your years of wisdom and experience you rejected them fiercely and sought surgeons and creams to turn back time! A guy convinced you that beauty is only for the young when nothing is sexier and more appealing than a woman who is proud of her scares and wrinkles for they each tell a story of how strong she is! A guy convinced you that those lilac ribbons created by the miracle of pregnancy are ugly! A guy convinced you that your body is not good enough or safe enough or strong enough to deliver your child safely into the world! You need medical intervention, drugs, and emergency procedures! A guy filled you up with shame and disgust of your femininity! A guy denied you to love and make love to yourself! A guy put a damper on your instincts and turned motherhood into a tiresome experience for you!
Dear woman, you have been stripped off your exceptional powers! Please, embrace your natural beauty, body, and curves … remember that you are unique and special … remember that your breasts are a miracle, that your monthly period is a miracle, that your power to conceive is a miracle, that your power to labor and deliver is a miracle, and that your ability to sustain a baby for two years on lactation is a miracle. Surrender to your primal self and do not smother your powerful instincts. There was a time when society worshiped women because of their mystery … then came a time when men feared that mysterious power and resented it … and now we live in a time when women let go of their feminism and turned into dummies and freaks.
If a mama monkey or a mama bear or a mama cat could talk, she would show you the striking contrast between who you should have been and what you have become.
A feminist is not a woman who hates men; a feminist is a woman who loves and enjoys being a woman! Happy women’s day!
Today’s post comes from an author who is very near and dear to my heart. She is RJay, she is my sister, my daughter’s favorite aunt, she is also my best friend and she used to be the person whose closet I loved raiding because the girl really does know how to score the best clothes. She doesn’t blog much, which is sad because she is one smart cookie who always has something interesting to say.
I’ve read hundreds of articles on how to hijabify your sundress by wearing a shirt underneath or jean jacket on top
I’ve learnt a dozen ways to tie my hijab , cover my neck but show my pretty earrings
I’ve scored the internet for ideas on how to wear anything hijabifiyed I’ve learnt how to shop
I’ve learnt to try to stick to clothes that are already long sleeved and won’t need too much layering, I’ve learnt to wear pretty colors and nice accessories I’ve learnt to wear my clothes with pride and feel pretty on the inside not just the outside after all ……I’ve been practicing for 12 years
The one thing I struggled with the most was not the year of the leggings or the year camisoles and miniskirts were in , I didn’t struggle with deciding between wearing skin tight tops or skipping
The thing I struggled with the most for all these years (and still do) is loving myself veiled
Mind you struggling with your hijab is the second best kept secret (after how horrendous childbirth is)no one tells you how hard it is to keep it on I’ve gone violently back and forth from wanting to take it off to wearing loose fitting clothes and no make up
I used to look at happy cute veiled girls and wish I was that happy …I felt the same envy for the girls with their loose hair down their backs and miss my own
However the good news is that I’m at a good place right now and thought I would share with you and spare you 12 years J
1- Girls are prettier on the other sidewhatever side you are on whether you are veiled or unveiled tall or short thin or curvy blonde or brunette …sometimes you will feel that anyone who isn’t you is better
Hate to burst your bubble women are beautiful in all shapes and sizes and nothing is more beautiful than loving yourself enough …when you love yourself you are able to focus on other people when you do that people can tell how amazing and strong you are to long beyond the pettiness of oneself
When you don’t like yourself you are so busy internally nitpicking every part of yourself and seething with green eyed malice at anyone around you that people step over you so they don’t get infected
I’ve watched guys go gaga over the new girl and forget her in a week because she was too self centered
I’ve seen seemingly average girls get the hottest sweetest guys because they loved themselves enough to shine and knew deep down they were worth the best guys
I’ve longed to be friends with girls who commanded the whole room but looked nothing like your typical siren just so I could be near all that happiness
I’ve sometimes been the new it girl and sometimes I joined in the praise of the new girl with my guy friends …I know my place and it’s a pretty good spot…. because after all god put me there
2-Loving yourself is a must but you must also know how to project a certain image
If you want to love yourself while veiled you must treat yourself to all the indulgences of non veiled girls just because your hair is covered doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dye it if you want have it permed have it blown dry , cut and cared for by the best products you can get your hands on
You deserve to look at a pretty you in the mirror you deserve to smell the pretty shampoo from your hair
3-You must have a beauty and clothes regime that you have designed personally and stick to it
This is mine:
I buy the prettiest-smelling, softest-curl-inducing shampoos I can find
I cut , style and blow dry my hair regularly
I wax regularly even if no one will see
I go to the gym every day (choose my outfits carefully but that’s the next point)
I buy any hijab unsuitable clothes like lingerie and swimsuits and wear them at home or at girls only events
I buy big dangly earrings even if no one can see them , I can
I use nice smelling creams
I have a huge array of any nail polish that takes my fancy I apply it after I pray 3esha so I don’t worry about wodoo2 and remove it at night before I sleep, this might seem like a hassle but believe me it’s worth it
4-The clothes maketh the girl
Deciding what to wear is the biggest deal but most of us have a picture of what they want to look like in their heads but beware freedom has a limit we made that commitment the day we decided to cover our hair don’t make a fool of yourself by wearing too much make-up or tight revealing clothes it makes you look desperate, confused and have no idea who you want to be
The veil is about being presentable yet conservative don’t defeat the purpose
Choose colors that make you happy and comfortable buy 80 % of ur clothes in that color and 20 % of the time go on a limb and by something different
Care for the details , your scarf matters think comfort –color –coordination
Not everything that is in fashion works for your body , face or your veil think wisely
Your accessories mean a lot bag, shoes, and jewelry wear whatever takes your fancy and if they r too loud just wear a one colored outfit and go crazy!!
You are an ambassador keep that in mind
If you don’t know what style to choose find someone you like and mimic mesh 3eeb
When it comes to the gym make sure your top is long colorful and comfortable preferably cotton same goes for your veil you are going to the gym to sweat not to flirt you look ridiculous when you try to hard that goes for non veiled girls too
Personally I buy boys shirts coz they r long and dri fit just go for colorful ones , choose your shoes wisely too and please for the love of god DON’T WEAR MAKE UP AT THE GYM I agree you look prettier with eyeliner but you also look DESPERATE
5-Last but not least
Choosing to be veiled means that you are supposedly at a higher level of piety not necessarily better or worse than everyone else but conduct yourself wisely you are an ambassador to your faith be sweet and polite don’t be loud and vulgar not only are you scrutinized more closely you are labeled as desperate and unstable
إتصل الرائد تامر الملاح ببرنامج مصر في إسبوع و بعدها بساعه إتصل ببرنامج العاشره مساءا
ما هي إحتماليات قدرة شخص واحد أن يتصل ببرنامجين في نفس اليوم؟
إذا كانت هذه صدفه فهي غريبه
و إذا كان هذا نوع من أنواع الخطاب المقصود لتغيير رأي الشعب فهو مستفز لأنه يستهزىء بعقل المشاهد فأين الشفافيه و المهنيه؟
اﻹعلام أداه خطيره إذا استخدمت بغباء
ليس لي أي إعتراض على رغبة و محاولة البرامج أو الشرطه تحسين مظهرهم و المساعده و اﻹسراع في التصالح بين الشعب و الشرطه
و لكن ليس باﻹستخفاف بعقولنا أو بمخاطبة مشاعرنا أو بترهيبنا أو بإستجداء عطفنا
الطريق الوحيد لعلاقه جيده و صحيه بين أي طرفين هو اﻷمانه و الصدق و المهنيه و الجديه واﻹحترام
The third post in the For Women series is written by Ze2red. I have had the lovely pleasure of meeting her the last time I was in Egypt. The first impression you get when you meet her is that she is bubbly, but then you realize that she is deep and smart too. A movie buff who posts interesting movie reviews, a book lover and a sweet sweet person.
Everyday we face hundreds of decisions to be made. Some of them are so easy that we don’t really notice we are making. We just get used to the idea of waking up deciding what to have for breakfast, what clothes to wear, which colors to pick, what to have for lunch, whether to watch tv that day or spend the time surfing online. As much as those decisions are easy and you make them in an eye blink, life isn’t that easy all the time.
Every now and then we are faced with some serious decisions that need to be made. The kind of decisions that gives you a complete mood swing, insomnia and eating disorders. Hard/Tough/Difficult decisions are always thought to be of this kind because they result in some serious changes in our lives. They literarily take a person out of her comfort zone, where she is in control of everything and outcomes are pretty much known and expected. This is the first thought that crosses anyone’s mind when faced with those kind of decisions.
To be honest, there is no way to make those decisions easier, unless you convince yourself it’s a normal phase you will have to pass keeping in mind that you should maximize your benefits, and cut down your losses as much as you can. In order to do that, there are ways to make the process faster and more productive. Instead of leaving your mind to its own mess and juggling around between this and that. You need to layout the decision making process as follows:
• Objectives must first be established (point all of your objectives out. You can brainstorm the objectives. Make the thoughts flow on a piece of paper. Free your mind from all of the fear constraints. After all they will be some words on a piece of paper which you can toss at anytime)
• Objectives must be classified and placed in order of importance (this step is really important. Rank and prioritize according to your situation, and keep in mind every person’s life and circumstances are different than the other. Do what fits you the most.)
• Alternative actions must be developed (means if you won’t be in favor of this decision, what is the other thing you will do? Is there another decision?
In addition to that, pleaseeeee picture your future and the impact of each alternative on your life. You can again brainstorm that. Whatever comes to your mind, good and bad, just write them down.)
• The alternative must be evaluated against all the objectives (you can list pros and cons for each alternative. Or you can assign weights. Choose the method that makes you comfortable and makes you see the whole picture while going in the process.)
• Finally, The alternative that is able to achieve all the objectives (or most of them) is the tentative decision.
Sometimes, after you go through that, it’s a matter of taking the risk or not. Fearing change and failure. I always tell myself, nothing is guaranteed. Even if I hold on to my comfort zone, things will pop up forcing me out of it. So if it comes down to taking the risk or not, take the leap every once in a while and add a new flavor of change to your life.
Today’s post is written by the lovely Deppys. I originally found Deppys’ blog when I clicked through from a comment of hers. I read her bucket list and thought it was very funny and could only come from a very interesting young lady. The first thing that strikes you is that she is full of energy and passion and that she is a Virgo.
How to be a lousy parent
When picking a partner, just go for the one you can’t live without — even if they weren’t right. Never put your future kids into consideration.
Blame your kids for your mistakes. Oh wait, never care to recognize your mistakes in the first place.
Don’t respect/give kids any space or privacy.
Never appreciate any ‘help’ they offer. As a ‘thank you’ point out/criticize their tiniest mistakes.
As young treat them as adults, and as adults treat them like kids.
Whenever you’re criticized, take it personally and snap! Never apologize and make sure you always turn the table.
Make sure boys feel comfortable and cherished, girls know how to make it easier for boys. Pamper those and neglect those. Classic favoritism!
You’re always right; you’re old, and more experienced. You’re a parent for the love of god, you OWN your kids, and you are privileged to do whatever you want with them.
Never care about how they feel, as long as you think you did the right thing. Nothing else matters. Remember, you’re the parent!
Repeat the old-school Egyptian TV lame lines, over and over.
Misunderstand, miscommunicate, misinterpret and misrepresent their thoughts, words and deeds.
Take every ‘NO’ as a disobedience, and never respect their wishes or opinions.
Be an overprotective control freak. That’s how you shield them, indeed.
Be hostile and blame them for not spending quality time with you.
Hate their friends and always refer to how bad influence they leave on your kids.
Curb their feelings, actions and thoughts. Like in obligating them — not only — to do favors for your people/friends on your behalf. But also make sure they’d like doing them, that they won’t even dare to pout about it.
Give birth to whatever number of babies as long as you can provide food and money. And if you can’t provide, blame their spending habits, or their irresponsible behavior. But never look out for your family.
Never remember their favorite meal, their birthday, or their favorite color. And go brag about how much you know your kids.
Never care to find out their good qualities. Also diminish/never encourage/ neglect their hobbies/interests, not that they’re as important as “Education”.
How to teach your kids? Easy, let them do something new, and the moment they make any mistake, yell hard and punish them.
Always assure the fact that you’re tired and sick, and whine at how your kids are such a heavy burden.
Throw your anger on them.
Make decisions for them/force your choices. And never let them face the real world.
When facing a problem, bail on your kids.
Read this and go like “I do all that, but I love my kids”. All in all, I know you do! Keep reading…
If you scored 50% or more, congratulations! You did a great job damaging your kid. Probably failing one of lives’ major tests as a kid, as a teenager, or as an adult!
We need to stop defining parenting as ONLY loving your kids, as making things easier for them by draining our own selves. Parenting – as a practical definition – is rather the catalytic process of giving the world a well disciplined human being. To use this love as a two-edged weapon to up-bring a person to be avail to the world and to proceed the cycle by passing on what you provided, to generations to come. And the cycle goes on! Parenting is hard, I get that but it’s also misinterpreted. Learning about parenting as a whole package, is an abandoned route. That we forgot, in our drifting in the fast materialistic world.
PS. all the above points are mere experience, From children’s point of view but not as parents. And aside from being damaged, they don’t want kids, to avoid being lousy parents themselves.