I can’t remember how I stumbled upon Rasha*’s blog. But I remember being touched by the passion and wealth of emotions. I always feel that she is a realistic dreamer. When I first invited her to post she said she wanted to have her post published on the 21st of March, Mother’s day. So I was expecting a mother related post, but I definitely wasn’t expecting this. Thank you Rasha for such a wonderful post.
All I remember from my childhood is my mom.My mom gave me this; my mom gave me that…my mom talking me out, my mom yelling at me.
My mom was my whole world for a very long time.
She was like any other loving mom but with a twist.
She was the single mom.
And single mothers make double the effort and take double the crap from life. My dad was in Europe most of my childhood and she took every responsibility in the book.
It is not really about feeding and clothing…it is about facing everyday totally alone with no husband to nag to and no father to do the yelling.
She did it all, she disciplined, studied, befriended and yelled…and I remember an occasional 3al2a from time to time mainly infused by fear for me and probably fear from her as she struggled to make me the best girl in my family.
My mom had two targets in mind, my education and my ethics.
She gave me huge books to read since I was a child…she would sit me down with her to watch nady elcinema (ana 2adeema awi :D) and tell me about classic movies and movie stars…and every time I was invited to a friend’s house or to a school trip she would decline and take me out herself to any destination I want…she was over protective and she panicked from anything that would affect my education and my ethics.
I wouldn’t say that being a single mom is extra hard because she had to worry alone about the money, my school or boys who started to interfere in my early teenage years.
Nop, The hardest thing I think she had to go through is being the single woman in a society that alienated divorced women and treated them like khatafeen elregala by default.
Most neighbors avoided us…mothers making their kids avoid playing with me…women giving mom the look because she was prettier than most of them and single.
She had to fight extra hard to keep a formal image so that people would accept me…that was back in the days, can’t say that’s the case now although it happens sometimes.
She avoided parents meetings because after she would attend one, the teachers ask me about her and comment disrespectfully as if I am dumb and can’t hear them…gossip after my mom’s rare visits to my school were unbearable…for me and for her…but she always made it up for me…she would take me out (I loved wimpy) and buy me something I wanted.
She introduced me to responsibility at a very young age…I was 11 or 12 and knew how much we have and what bills we had to pay…when I was 13 I would control the household budget and do the paying and hire a plumber or an electrician to fix something around the house…
when she had lots of money she would lead a life of a millionaire and we she had no money we were very happy to live on a 5 piaster bread and a piece of cheese for months…she taught me to be happy regardless but she was always terrified of the no money phase…I could feel her…I feel her!
My mom did the best she knows how…she wasn’t always wise…but she couldn’t have known it…and she couldn’t have given me more…
When the wheels turned and I had to go through what she went through my heart ached continuously…I promised myself I wouldn’t repeat her mistakes but at the same time I keep wishing I could give my kids a fraction of the devotion she gave me.
I wish my kids love me a fraction of the love I feel for her. She has my utmost respect and cherishing…and regardless of any annoying blasts she some times throws at me J I will always do my very best make her happy and comforted.
Happy mother’s day to all moms and one extra rose to single moms.