For Women: How to love your veiled self

Today’s post comes from an author who is very near and dear to my heart.  She is RJay, she is my sister, my daughter’s favorite aunt, she is also my best friend and she used to be the person whose closet I loved raiding because the girl really does know how to score the best clothes.  She doesn’t blog much, which is sad because she is one smart cookie who always has something interesting to say.

I’ve read hundreds of articles on how to hijabify your sundress by wearing a shirt underneath or jean jacket on top

I’ve learnt a dozen ways to tie my hijab , cover my neck but show my pretty earrings

I’ve scored the internet for ideas on how to wear anything hijabifiyed I’ve learnt how to shop

I’ve learnt to try to stick to clothes that are already long sleeved and won’t need too much layering, I’ve learnt to wear pretty colors and nice accessories I’ve learnt to wear my clothes with pride and feel pretty on the inside not just the outside after all ……I’ve been practicing for 12 years

The one thing I struggled with the most was not the year of the leggings or the year camisoles and miniskirts were in , I didn’t struggle with deciding between wearing skin tight tops or skipping

The thing I struggled with the most for all these years (and still do) is loving myself veiled

Mind you struggling with your hijab is the second best kept secret (after how horrendous childbirth is)no one tells you how hard it is to keep it on I’ve gone violently back and forth from wanting to take it off to wearing loose fitting clothes and no make up

I used to look at happy cute veiled girls and wish I was that happy …I felt the same envy for the girls with their loose hair down their backs and miss my own

However the good news is that I’m at a good place right now and thought I would share with you and spare you 12 years J

1- Girls are prettier on the other side whatever side you are on whether you are veiled or unveiled tall or short thin or curvy blonde or brunette …sometimes you will feel that anyone who isn’t you is better

Hate to burst your bubble women are beautiful in all shapes and sizes and nothing is more beautiful than loving yourself enough …when you love yourself you are able to focus on other people when you do that people can tell how amazing and strong you are to long beyond the pettiness of oneself

When you don’t like yourself you are so busy internally nitpicking every part of yourself and seething with green eyed malice at anyone around you that people step over you so they don’t get infected

I’ve watched guys go gaga over the new girl and forget her in a week because she was too self centered

I’ve seen seemingly average girls get the hottest sweetest guys because they loved themselves enough to shine and knew deep down they were worth the best guys

I’ve longed to be friends with girls who commanded the whole room but looked nothing like your typical siren just so I could be near all that happiness

I’ve sometimes been the new it girl and sometimes I joined in the praise of the new girl with my guy friends …I know my place and it’s a pretty good spot…. because after all god put me there

2-Loving yourself is a must but you must also know how to project a certain image

If you want to love yourself while veiled you must treat yourself to all the indulgences of non veiled girls just because your hair is covered doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dye it if you want have it permed have it blown dry , cut and cared for by the best  products you can get your hands on

You deserve to look at a pretty you in the mirror you deserve to smell the pretty shampoo from your hair

3-You must have a beauty and clothes regime that you have designed personally and stick to it

This is mine:

  • I buy the prettiest-smelling, softest-curl-inducing shampoos I can find
  • I cut , style and blow dry my hair regularly
  • I wax regularly even if no one will see
  • I go to the gym every day (choose my outfits carefully but that’s the next point)
  • I buy any hijab unsuitable  clothes like lingerie and swimsuits and wear them at home or at girls only events
  • I buy big dangly earrings even if no one can see them , I can
  • I use nice smelling creams
  • I have a huge array of any nail polish that takes my fancy I apply it after I pray 3esha so I don’t worry about wodoo2 and remove it at night before I sleep, this might seem like a hassle but believe me it’s worth it

4-The clothes maketh the girl

Deciding what to wear is the biggest deal but most of us have a picture of what they want to look like in their heads but beware freedom has a limit we made that commitment the day we decided to cover our hair don’t make a fool of yourself by wearing too much make-up or tight revealing clothes it makes you look desperate, confused and have no idea who you want to be

The veil is about being presentable yet conservative don’t defeat the purpose

Guidelines

  • Choose colors that make you happy and comfortable buy 80 % of ur clothes in that color and 20 % of the time go on a limb and by something different
  • Care for the details , your scarf matters think comfort –color –coordination
  • Not everything that is in fashion works for your body , face or your veil think wisely
  • Your accessories mean a lot bag, shoes, and jewelry wear whatever takes your fancy and if they r too loud just wear a one colored outfit and go crazy!!
  • You are an ambassador keep that in mind
  • If you don’t know what style to choose find someone you like and mimic mesh 3eeb
  • When it comes to the gym make sure your top is long colorful and comfortable preferably cotton same goes for your veil you are going to the gym to sweat not to flirt you look ridiculous when you try to hard that goes for non veiled girls too
    Personally I buy boys shirts coz they r long and dri fit just go for colorful ones , choose your shoes wisely too and please for the love of god DON’T WEAR MAKE UP AT THE GYM I agree you look prettier with eyeliner but you also look DESPERATE

5-Last but not least

Choosing to be veiled means that you are supposedly at a higher level of piety not necessarily better or worse than everyone else but conduct yourself wisely you are an ambassador to your faith be sweet and polite don’t be loud and vulgar not only are you scrutinized more closely you are labeled as desperate and  unstable

Hope this helps 😀

8 Comments

  • At 2011.03.07 14:53, deppy said:

    WOW!

    RJay, You took all my favorite dimensions and put them a post; girly, fashion, a little bit of psychology and finally the writing style itself.

    I personally follow those tips already, yet I find it entertaining read. Not to mention that you’re officially my fashion competition here (hopefully).

    I would really like to see more of your writing =)

    • At 2011.03.07 15:15, ze2red said:

      I second Deppy on everything she said, even on the writing more thing. i know there are girls out there who will benefit big time from this post.

      Jessy: did you know u pasted the post twice :)?

      • At 2011.03.07 15:38, Mona said:

        I love this post! Sharing. I spent a lot of years forgetting about myself with hijab as an excuse. Now I love being girly and accessorizing and taking care of my self in all ways.

        • At 2011.03.07 17:03, Susu said:

          I loved this post! Can I share it by posting it to my blog? Thanks :)

          • At 2011.03.07 20:31, Rasha* said:

            I absolutely loved this post.
            Rjay, that you for the refreshing happy bubbly “veil” mood :)

            • At 2011.03.07 22:45, RJay said:

              LOL i see alot of people have gone thru my issues 😀
              thank you for all the sweet comments

              and i promise you all I wil resume blogging 😀

              SUSU share away 😀

              • […] Post 3: How to love your veiled self Okay I'm cheating here! I got this post from Chocolate mint in a jar who guest posted for her sister RJay. I loved RJay's post and I couldn't resist posting it. I […]

                • At 2011.03.08 14:07, inaselshazly said:

                  reema when u right you look exactly like when u talk loklok besor3a but u say valuable things and intersting ideas in a sarcastic but very clever way that u can get away with whatever u say keep righting