Chocolate Mints In a Jar

All the synonyms for “happy” in a wordle.   I am nice like that, I want to spread more happiness in the world.

“Yesterday is
but
today’s memory,
and tomorrow is
today’s dream.”
Kahlil GibranA couple of days ago, I asked my friends what they would like to invent and lots of people said they would like a bad memory eraser.  I was surprised that so many people would want that.  I find that blocking bad memories is a skill that you can learn.  Apparently scientists have also found a drug that can be used to do just that.  Of course, drugs like that could be very helpful for people who have had traumatic experiences and suffer from post traumatic stress, but what about the rest of us who just have bad or embarrassing memories that bother us.

I have a way with them.

Seriously, I do.

I am going to tell you.

It’s easy, I just forget.

Actually it’s not that easy.  I sat down trying to think why I can forget about the things that bother me and dissected how I do it.

Don’t label it a bad memory in the first place

I’ve always been generally clumsy.  I trip and I fall, one Thursday I walked through the club gates looking cute and all then I tripped and fell on my butt in the busiest spot in front of everyone.  They laughed, they had to, it was hilarious.  I felt my face go red and was going to cry then I realized it must have looked hilarious and laughed too.  What could have been an embarrassing moment is now a funny one in my head.  Whenever you catch a bad memory forming, laugh about it, find something funny or nice about it and store it under “crazy” or “funny” in your head.

Tape over it

Basically I replace the memories with something else.  In other words, I dissasociate it with one event and associate it with something better.  Imagine your brain like a video recording device (yes a VCR not a DVD recording device),  when you have a bad moment just remember a positive moment and keep remembering it as vividly as possible.  Talk about it, imagine it, daydream about it, tell everyone about it until it has replaced the bad one.

Make it about something else

Remember that day your car broke down, your cat died and your house was eaten by a huge fire because your neighbors threw a lit cigarette butt into your balcony?  Do something fun or happy, go get a pedicure at a great place so you can call it “the day I had my awesome pedicure” instead of “the day my life fell apart”.  It really is just that simple.  This is similar to taping over a bad memory but is done immediately after something bad happens before it actually becomes a bad memory.

Train yourself to be an optimist

Some people are just natural optimists, they can see the good side of everything that happens no matter how ugly it is.  If you consciously make the decision to do that all the time you can have happier memories instead of bad ones.  It’s all about deciding to think happy thoughts.

Kol sana wento tayebeen ya batabeet ya 7elween.

I love this Eid, the small one.  The other one or as we at home sometimes call it Eid el La7ma; is exhausting and by the time the dab7 is finished the day is almost over.  Eid is a happy time for our family, when I was back in Egypt we would spend the wa2fa and the Eid days at my maternal grandmothers house on the farm.  All of my cousins, my aunt and uncle and some of our extended family too, imagine gabalayet el 2orood keda.  When we were young my parents would take my sister and I to Toys’R'Us and let us pick our own toy, later when we grew older we would get our 3edeya. Hehehe Eid was the time to be rich!  I stopped getting it when I got married .  My family is a generous one, bless them all.  My husband and I had our Katb Ketab on the second day of Eid the year before last.  So this is like our second anniversary as a technically married couple.  This year is special because my mom and my sister are coming over to spend it with us in Kuwait and it is also my daughter’s first Eid.  We got her a special outfit, complete with socks, shoes (my husband insisted even though she still can not stand), matching hair accessories and her own special toy.  This year we picked it out for her, but I am hoping that next year she can pick her own toy.  My mom is also bringing over ka7k all the way from Egypt.  Hehehe and then there was the year my sister stuffed herself with one too many ka7ks and has not touched one since, she can’t even look at them anymore.  There was also a Eid many years ago which we spent in Edinburugh when we were living in Scotland which was so much fun too.  My father (allah yer7amo) loved calling everyone Eid morning right after prayers to wish them a happy Eid and make sure that they woke up.  He was a very funny, kind,amazing man and sometimes a prankster (my mom would tell him 7arram tarwee3 amn el moslemeen, it was a family joke); he is still terribly missed although it has been ten years since he has passed), he would have enjoyed this Eid with us.  There were also a couple of sad ones with sad memmories, but the happy ones are always the ones that prevail.

This year I am truly wishing a happy Eid to the entire Muslim Ummah, wherever you are, enjoy this year, pray for our brothers and sisters in need, try to help if you can by sending money or useful items or even by just visiting.  Visit your family and friends, call those you can not visit, and no those cheesy emails are not good enough.  Make it a personal mission to wish everyone a special day.  It should also be a day of remembrance of those who are no longer with us, pray for them too.

Again, have a great day and enjoy it, you have just gotten thru another Ramadan, may your fasting be accepted by Allah, your prayers mostagaba and your soul cleansed to get you thru another year.