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Monkey Cake

Exactly 2 years today I woke up at 9 am feeling tired and in pain.  I got ready to go out to breakfast.  I was in Egypt and my husband was on vacation with me and was going to take me out to breakfast then drop me off at work.  Instead I went to the hospital, had an emergency C-section and met Lulu for the first time at around 6 pm.  That was when my whole life changed.  Two years have gone by really quickly.  I read somewhere that the days are really slow but the years go by really fast.  That is exactly who I feel right now.

She was born with jet black hair, dimples and(which are gone except when she grins really hard) two birthmarks one on each thigh.  She was also born with a very interesting personality.  She is determined, curious, talkative and bubbly.   She was wrapped in her baby blanket and an outfit I had picked out with my husband months earlier.  She was much smaller than I thought babies should be.  She didn’t do anything except sleep, eat, poop and cry for the first couple of months.  I didn’t do anything except feed, wash away all the poop and cry while dreaming of sleep (just kidding it wasn’t that bad, but I still do dream of sleep).   We decided to be friends.  She didn’t ask and I didn’t offer but I think I am determined to be friends anyways.  It is still a long journey but I am grateful.

With out current monkey obsession (diapers and crochet monkeys)  which was probably caused by watching too much Curious George, I felt that a monkey cake was the perfect gift.  I wasn’t planning on having a party anyways.  My husband and I were planning to celebrate quietly just the two of us at home with a cake and a gift.  When my sister in law said she was going to drop by Friday and celebrate with us we decided to make pizza as well and get balloons as well.  She loved the cake and woke up this morning asking for monkey ‘tata’ which is Lulu speak for chocolate.  And she spent 10 minutes pointing at it and saying monkey monkey when she first saw it.  I baked it Thursday morning while she was out at daycare and hid it in the top utility drawer so she wouldn’t see it.  I also made rolling fondant for the very first time and tried a new chocolate frosting recipe because the one I love uses chocolate chips and I didn’t have any.  The fondant was much easier to make than I thought and turned out beautifully.  The whole cake was a success.  It took about an hour and a half from start to finish including baking and decorating so I guess it was easier than I thought it would be.

Lessons learned when making monkey cake:

  • Make sure you have all the ingredients.
  • Wash the dishes as soon as you are done with them.  Chocolate, butter and marshmallows are not easy to wash off when they’ve dried onto your bowls.
  • Be confident when rolling fondant, if you don’t like what you have you can always start all over.
  • I think the next time I make this I would probably make the frosting the first thing and I would use my chocolate chip recipe.  It usually needs to sit in the fridge for an hour or two but it tastes better and its texture is way better.
  • Do not lick too much batter.
  • Take lots of pictures.  It is a fun process.
  • Write down your favorite recipes.  I send most recipes to my email but still lose them sometimes, so I have a notebook filled with successful tried and tested ones.  I also write down a recipe on large post its and stick them on the wall while I am cooking so I don’t have to look for it while my hands are all covered in sticky stuff.  If a recipe passes the test it gets copied into the notebook.
  • Make sure you have a serving plate that fits.  Unfortunately I didn’t the ears make the shape of this cake difficult to fit on a regular plate so I just covered a try in foil.  Next time I would probably cut out a peice of cardboard and cover that in foil and then in pieces of wax paper so I can just pull them from under the cake when I am done so the whole thing would look cleaner.  I know it does not matter but I really care about presentation.  I tried to tissue off excess frosting but it still looked a bit messy.
  • I have an awesome cake recipe but I was afraid that I would not have enough time so I opted to use cake mix (Betty Crocker’s Chocolate Fudge Cake) to be honest I think my cake is better and next time I probably would just use the recipe but it still was a wonderful cake, so don’t be afraid to take shortcuts and use a little bit of extra help.
  • It is best to do this while little people under 5 are out of the house or at least busy doing something else. :-)

Lessons learned when having little Lulus (who sometimes behave like little monkeys)

  • Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you are in control.  I sometimes need to tell her in a loud clear voice “I am your mommy, you are my daughter, I am in charge”.
  • Making a fool of yourself in a public place to make your daughter laugh is totally underrated, everyone should do it at least once a month.  It is liberating to act the way you really want to as if no one else existed and it is fun too.  Kids are a great excuse for that.
  • It is sometimes really hard deciding what is best for your kid.  Keep trying.
  • It is sometimes really hard doing what is best for your kid.  Try harder.
  • Sticking to what you have decided and started doing is even harder.  Keep trying harder.
  • Keep track of milestones, if a child is very late at reaching one, go see a doctor.
  • It is always OK to seek a second opinion especially concerning doctors.  Sometimes it is even critical.
  • ALWAYS find a little bit time for yourself.  There is an Arabic proverb that say, he who does not have something can not give it (فاقد الشيئ لا يعطيه)  so in other words a mother who is not happy and healthy can not raise happy and healthy children.
  • Finally,  it is never really a destination with kids, it is a journey, so make sure you pack lots of snacks, diapers, books, pain relievers and a positive attitude.

Happy birthday to you Lulu and happy giving birth day to me too.

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From my Inbox: Things my mother taught me

I got this email today it is so funny

• My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION…

“Just wait until your father gets home.”

• My Mother taught me about RECEIVING…

“You are going to get it when we get home!”

• My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE…

“What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don’t talk back to me!”

• My Mother taught me LOGIC…

“If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

• My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE…

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

• My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD…

“If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.”

• My Mother taught me HUMOR…

“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

• My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT…

“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

• My Mother taught me about my ROOTS…

“Do you think you were born in a barn?”

• My Mother taught me about GENETICS…

“You’re just like your father.”

• My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE…

“When you get to be my age, you will understand.”

• My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE…

“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

• My mother taught me about RELIGION…

“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

• My mother taught me about ENVY…

“There are millions of children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

• My mother taught me about FORESIGHT…

“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

• My mother taught me about IRONY…

“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

And last but not least…

• My Mother taught me about JUSTICE…

“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you….Then you’ll see what it’s like!

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Hypothetical Question: Do overs?

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If you could go back and change an action in your life would you choose to do that?  Here’s the catch, if you choose to go back you have to go through your life all over again taking the risk that whatever you change might change everything else that came after that event.  Years ago I read a book called Replay, by Ken Grimwood.  Jeff Winston the protagonist a 43 year old radio journalist dies and wakes up 18 years old again, he gets to redo his life while still remembering his old life.  He gets to “replay” his life several times at different ages too each time starting older than the one before.  He memorizes airplane crashes, stocks, tries to save a friend from suicide and things like that.  The book was one of the most insightful books I have ever read.  I would love to re-read it now and see how I would feel about it.

I used to believe that if you make your own decisions you should have no regrets and that even if you think you made a mistake you should be proud of it, make it right and move on.  I remember having this discussion when I was 23 with someone at work who was 10 years older and he said that he used to think so too and that when you get older you do have regrets even if they are small ones or trivial ones.  I think now I sort of agree but I still think that if you hold yourself accountable for your decisions you should not have many regrets just perhaps nostalgia for what should or could have been.

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” Harris, Sidney J.

Would you want a do over?  What would you redo?  Would it be worth the risk?

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