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He’s Just Not That Into You

He's Just Not That Into You

He's Just Not That Into You

So unless you were living in a cave or under a big shiny blue rock you must have heard about this movie or the book titled He’s Just Not That Into You.  The book was inspired by an episode of Sex and the City titled “Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little,” in which Miranda asks Carrie‘s boyfriend, Jack Berger, to analyze the post-date behavior of a potential love interest. Because the man declined Miranda’s invitation to come up to her apartment after the date, stating that he has an early meeting, Berger concludes, “He’s just not that into you,” adding, “When a guy’s really into you, he’s coming upstairs, meeting or no meeting.”  [Wikipedia].

The movie follows the lives of people who are totally misreading signs and interpreting the other person’s actions incorrectly.  I am not going to spoil the movie for you and I am not really going to do a movie review.  I did like the movie and it is an interesting and slightly thought provoking movie which is worth seeing for a girls night out.

After watching my brain sort of did a quick dissection of the movie and came up with these random or maybe not so random thoughts.

Signs.  I’ve always had a problem with signs, I believe they don’t really exist and that they are a waste of time especially in relationships.  When a girl is in love she will twist every single detail and analyze it over and over a million times over just to see things the way she wants to see it.  My rule is, if someone wants something they have to ask for it clearly, unless that happens whatever might be in their mind just does not exist in my world.  This is not just applicable to guys and girls this is applicable to everything in life.  For example, your boss is being nice to you does not mean he wants to fire or promote you (unless he really says either).  I know people who will analyze every single detail to death and end up wasting so much time thinking instead of living.  If you over analyze you are just stressing your self out for nothing

Dump the girl too. You might have a gal pal who’s just not that into you either.  I mean that sometimes our girl friends can be just as toxic to our lives.  The girl who doesn’t call, doesn’t care and is never really there should be dumped.  The girl who uses you and abuses you should get the boot.  Even if you’ve known her for a kazillion years, that is no excuse.  Dump her and move on.  Friends should make you feel good and be good to you.  They are honest, open and real.

Real advice.  How many times has someone asked you for advice and instead of being honest you were nice?  Personally I am a mean biatch sometimes, my sister can testify that I am a believer in tough love and usually tell people what they don’t really want to hear and it’s not because I have a mean sadistic streak but because I’d rather  give the cure than kiss the boo boo when someone is hurting.  Sometimes you have to be really honest with yourself and give yourself real and true advice to help yourself move on or forward.

You can’t force a guy into marrying you. Actually you can.  You can trap him but eventually he will leave.  This is valid for anything in life, if you force anyone to do anything, somewhere along the line they will snap and try to get out.  On the other hand if you help someone do what they truly want everyone will be much happier.

Lying is never good.  Yes, lying is never good, but you know that already, don’t you?  You will get caught or ruin your life or whatever.  Don’t lie.  Don’t lie to someone you care about.

Happiness is a ride not a destination. Really, who is happy all the time?  No one.  The married couple had problems, the single girls were looking for love, the girl who was in love and living with her boyfriend wanted to get married, the girl who loves a man who doesn’t love her back is loved by another man whom she doesn’t want.  There’s always something.  There is no “state” or “status” for happiness.  It’s an outlook and a choice to be happy.  There is no happy ending because as long as you are alive there is no end and you have to keep working on it and doing your best to be happy.

Update: RJay had an interesting angle on the movie too.

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Just thoughts

I was thinking and just decided to post this as a rant.  I was thinking about women’s issues in general because of the Kolena Layla campaign (if I can call it that).  I love empowered women.  I tried to start blogging about great examples of Egyptian women a while back and got stuck.  I still manage to find examples which still make me proud even if it is for simpler reasons (like businesses or bloggerettes turned authors).   Is it because there are not a lot of examples? or is perhaps because they are not celebrated as much?  I know think more about women’s rights, education, health and general well being now that I have a girl of my own.

I was very lucky to have been blessed with an amazing set of parents who thought that we could do or be whatever we wanted as long as it wasn’t harram.  Their line was drawn there and only there.  It is hard to argue with religion because those kind of values do not budge when society does.  They taught us (I have a super younger sister too) that we could think for ourselves.

It is all about mindset, beleifs and the basic idea that we have rights, even if they are very simple ones.  It is all about teaching girls to be balanced, strong individuals.  The media is not helping either, and this is confusing girls.

Even girls who do have a choice are confused.  Do they want to be successful?  Should they look like super models? Should they get married or follow their dreams? Do they want to have kids right away or do they want to wait?  Do they want to stand out as innovators, leaders, inventors and owners? Do they want to follow?

A total rant.

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